Adam Sandler's Next Movie

Turns out the American electorate was right all along. The less we collectively know about about the financial crisis (i.e., what it is and what caused it), the better.

Hey Matt Damon: Find out if Gov. Palin watches Dancing With The Stars. Really, I need to know. Thanks.

If The Critical Elitist sold t-shirts, they'd cost $200 each. That went right over your head, didn't it?

Car Wash Crisis

Congress must act now to pass comprehensive car wash reform. All full service car washes must be mandated to change the names of their offerings as follows:

$34.99 Half-Ass Job

$24.99 Yeah, Whatever

$19.99 Just spray your car with a garden hose for 30 seconds and save yourself $19.99