From an AP story:
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lashed out at the anonymous Republican campaign sources cited in a Fox News report who said she did not know Africa was a continent, not a country, and could not name the three countries in the North American Free Trade Agreement — Canada, the United States and Mexico.
"I consider it cowardly" that they did not allow their names to be used, she said.
Palin said those allegations aren't true. She recalled discussing Africa and NAFTA with aides who prepared her for the vice presidential debate with Democrat Joe Biden.
"If there are allegations based on questions or comments that I made in debate prep about NAFTA, and about the continent vs. the country when we talk about Africa there, then those were taken out of context," she said. "That's cruel, It's mean-spirited. It's immature. It's unprofessional and those guys are jerks if they came away with it, taking things out of context and then tried to spread something on national news. It's not fair, and it's not right."
Friday, November 7, 2008
Election Aftermath
I can finally tell my kids they can be anything they want when they get convicted of seven felonies, even a United States Senator.
Does anybody even read this blog anymore? Did anybody ever read it?
Does anybody even read this blog anymore? Did anybody ever read it?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Adam Sandler's Next Movie
Turns out the American electorate was right all along. The less we collectively know about about the financial crisis (i.e., what it is and what caused it), the better.
Hey Matt Damon: Find out if Gov. Palin watches Dancing With The Stars. Really, I need to know. Thanks.
If The Critical Elitist sold t-shirts, they'd cost $200 each. That went right over your head, didn't it?
Hey Matt Damon: Find out if Gov. Palin watches Dancing With The Stars. Really, I need to know. Thanks.
If The Critical Elitist sold t-shirts, they'd cost $200 each. That went right over your head, didn't it?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Car Wash Crisis
Congress must act now to pass comprehensive car wash reform. All full service car washes must be mandated to change the names of their offerings as follows:
$34.99 Half-Ass Job
$24.99 Yeah, Whatever
$19.99 Just spray your car with a garden hose for 30 seconds and save yourself $19.99
$34.99 Half-Ass Job
$24.99 Yeah, Whatever
$19.99 Just spray your car with a garden hose for 30 seconds and save yourself $19.99
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Jeezus
Let's just delay the presidential debates until after the election. That way, they would be unnecessary and both candidates wouldn't be wasting their time.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Enough Already
We need a moratorium on discussion of the financial market chaos by the presidential candidates. Complicated issues like that simply aren't compatible with American Democracy. Let's stick to debating abortion, gun control and Simms/Applewhite.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Potpourri
Gov. Palin got her first passport in July 2007.
The Toyota Tundra plant in San Antonio will offer tours beginning in January 2009.
The Toyota Tundra plant in San Antonio will offer tours beginning in January 2009.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Doughnuts are too hot to touch.
For those who care, Toronto Ron is holed up in New Orleans as a result of damage caused by Hurricane Ike. Personally, I don't believe in Hurricane Ike, but that's what he tells me. Well, whatever. I hope you get lots of beads, Ron.
Greenspan: Unpatriotic Naysayer
Alan Greenspan said the U.S. can't afford Sen. McCain's proposed $3.3 trillion of tax cuts without similar reductions in the federal budget. Greenspan: "I'm not in favor of financing tax cuts with borrowed money.''
Friday, September 12, 2008
Executive Experience. See?
Plagiarized from an AP Story:
Republican presidential candidate John McCain has defended his running mate's qualifications, citing her command of the Alaska National Guard and Alaska's proximity to Russia.
Pressed about what insights into recent Russian actions she gained by living in Alaska, Palin told ABC's Charles Gibson, "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."
Republican presidential candidate John McCain has defended his running mate's qualifications, citing her command of the Alaska National Guard and Alaska's proximity to Russia.
Pressed about what insights into recent Russian actions she gained by living in Alaska, Palin told ABC's Charles Gibson, "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Mitt Romney's Greatest Hits: RNC 2008
Is government spending, putting aside inflation, liberal or conservative if it doubles since 1980? It's liberal.We need change all right: change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington.
We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington: Throw out the big-government liberals and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin.
The Brass Tax
Which candidate's income tax proposal is better for the country? Well, that depends on how much money you make. If you make more than $2.87 million a year, Obama's income tax plan is simply bad economic policy. If you make less than $66k a year, McCain's income tax plan is simply bad economic policy.
Archer Daniels Midland
The federal ethanol mandate requires gasoline refiners to mix cellulosic ethanol with gasoline. In 2008, the law calls for 9 billion gallons of ethanol. In 2009, that number increases to 10.5 billion gallons. Obama supports the ethanol mandate. McCain has called for an end to the ethanol mandate.
Friday, September 5, 2008
I'm Waiting
"It's over. It's over. It's over for the special interests," McCain promised.
Name three of them for which "it" is over.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
This Just In
The new in-vogue phrase from college football internet message boards: "Keyboard Coach."
Low Hanging Fruit for MoveOn.org
Karl Rove on Meet the Press in regards to Obama choosing Gov. Tim Kaine of Virgnia for a running mate:
Mr. KARL ROVE: With all respect again to Governor Kaine, he's been a governor for three years, he's been able but undistinguished. I don't think people could really name a big, important thing that he's done. He was mayor of the 105th largest city in America. So if he were to pick Governor Kaine, it would be an intensely political choice where he said, "You know what, I'm really not first and foremost concerned with is this person capable of being president of the United States. What I'm concerned about is can he bring me the electoral votes of the state of Virginia, the 13 electoral votes in Virginia."
Mr. KARL ROVE: With all respect again to Governor Kaine, he's been a governor for three years, he's been able but undistinguished. I don't think people could really name a big, important thing that he's done. He was mayor of the 105th largest city in America. So if he were to pick Governor Kaine, it would be an intensely political choice where he said, "You know what, I'm really not first and foremost concerned with is this person capable of being president of the United States. What I'm concerned about is can he bring me the electoral votes of the state of Virginia, the 13 electoral votes in Virginia."
Blogging Palin
With apologies to Bill Simmons, let’s blog Gov. Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican National Convention. (The times are when I watched it, slightly delayed because I DVR’ed it.)
9:38 Here she comes. She opted against the skirt she wore for the internet wine picture. Wise choice. Raucous applause. Todd Palin has a tightly trimmed goatee.
9:40 I like CNN’s fun facts on the crawler. Kinda like Pop Up Videos on VH1.
9:42 Do all Alaskans have a slight Midwest accent?
9:44 Paraphrasing: “Victory is in sight in Iraq.” No explanation given.
9:45 U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
9:46 USA chant count: 2.
9:48 Todd Palin is a lifelong commercial fisherman and roughneck. He’s also a union steelworker and a world champion snowmobile racer. Now the goatee makes sense.
9:52 Gov. Palin didn’t need focus groups when she ran for City Council in Alaska. Did McCain need focus groups for his VP selection?
9:53 CNN Fact: Gov. Palin graduated from the University of Idaho in 1987.
9:56 Who are these people in the crowd? I want Fox Sports Southwest to cover the conventions in 2012. Let’s see Knoxy crowdsurf.
9:58 Gov. Palin says she cut spending in Alaska. We’ll see if that’s accurate. No word on whether McCain plans to cut federal spending. [Later research: Palin has signed into law two Alaska budgets: 2007 and 2008. Each was the largest in Alaskan history. Maybe she cut spending on something, but she didn’t cut spending as a whole. Regardless, Alaska is awash in tax revenue from oil production. There is no state income tax and no state sales tax. The state collects so much money from oil and gas production that there’s no need to tax citizens at an individual level. So why rein in spending in the first place? It’s all free money. Interestingly, Gov. Palin gave $1,200 to each Alaskan from the budget surplus that resulted from rising oil prices. Taking money from the oil companies and giving it to the people. President Chávez does that, too.]
10:00 The $40 billion natural gas pipeline in Alaska will help lead America to energy independence.
10:01 “We cannot leave ourselves at the mercy of foreign [oil] suppliers.”
10:02 Gov. Palin knows the North Slope of Alaska; we’ve got lots of oil and natural gas. No mention of precisely how much, but it’s lots.
10:03 Gov. Palin claims “drilling won’t solve every problem.” What the hell is she talking about?
10:06 Obama wants to make government bigger. No comment on whether the government grew during the last eight years of Republican administration.
10:06 “Victory in Iraq is finally in sight.” No definition of “victory,” “Iraq” or “in sight.”
10:07 Obama favors Miranda rights. The crowd jeers because Miranda rights suck. I bet Obama is gay, too.
10:08 Shout-outs to Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Minnesota.
10:10 Slams Obama for making "dramatic speeches before devoted followers." Wait…nevermind.
10:12 Rips Obama for lack of experience. American presidency “not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery.” Wait…nevermind.
10:12 Another community organizer punch. I think that’s number four or five.
10:18 End of speech. I expected more USA chants. Nary a mention of Bush. Or Cheney, either, for that matter. All in all, Gov. Palin acquitted herself pretty well. By that I mean she did a decent job reading the teleprompter. Don’t worry, The Critical Elitist plans to take a closer look at the hottest governor from the coolest state in the coming weeks.
Next on CNN: John Rich, Gretchen Wilson and…wait for it…Cowboy Troy. This I gotta see. Shut up Alex Castellanos, Cowboy Troy’s onstage. John Rich is Rich of Big & Rich. I wonder where Big is. I wonder if Big is a Democrat. No clarification from Alex Castellanos. Worthless. Hey, I know Gretchen Wilson. She’s that fat chick I saw sing at the Houston Rodeo. From a luxury suite at the Houston Rodeo, I might add. Anyway, they’re performing a medley of the Pledge of Allegiance and The Star Spangled Banner. Now John Rich is singing a song he wrote called “Raisin’ McCain.” “We’re all just raisin’ McCain, everywhere across the USA, so you can get on the train or get outta the way, we’re all just raisin’ McCain.”
9:38 Here she comes. She opted against the skirt she wore for the internet wine picture. Wise choice. Raucous applause. Todd Palin has a tightly trimmed goatee.
9:40 I like CNN’s fun facts on the crawler. Kinda like Pop Up Videos on VH1.
9:42 Do all Alaskans have a slight Midwest accent?
9:44 Paraphrasing: “Victory is in sight in Iraq.” No explanation given.
9:45 U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
9:46 USA chant count: 2.
9:48 Todd Palin is a lifelong commercial fisherman and roughneck. He’s also a union steelworker and a world champion snowmobile racer. Now the goatee makes sense.
9:52 Gov. Palin didn’t need focus groups when she ran for City Council in Alaska. Did McCain need focus groups for his VP selection?
9:53 CNN Fact: Gov. Palin graduated from the University of Idaho in 1987.
9:56 Who are these people in the crowd? I want Fox Sports Southwest to cover the conventions in 2012. Let’s see Knoxy crowdsurf.
9:58 Gov. Palin says she cut spending in Alaska. We’ll see if that’s accurate. No word on whether McCain plans to cut federal spending. [Later research: Palin has signed into law two Alaska budgets: 2007 and 2008. Each was the largest in Alaskan history. Maybe she cut spending on something, but she didn’t cut spending as a whole. Regardless, Alaska is awash in tax revenue from oil production. There is no state income tax and no state sales tax. The state collects so much money from oil and gas production that there’s no need to tax citizens at an individual level. So why rein in spending in the first place? It’s all free money. Interestingly, Gov. Palin gave $1,200 to each Alaskan from the budget surplus that resulted from rising oil prices. Taking money from the oil companies and giving it to the people. President Chávez does that, too.]
10:00 The $40 billion natural gas pipeline in Alaska will help lead America to energy independence.
10:01 “We cannot leave ourselves at the mercy of foreign [oil] suppliers.”
10:02 Gov. Palin knows the North Slope of Alaska; we’ve got lots of oil and natural gas. No mention of precisely how much, but it’s lots.
10:03 Gov. Palin claims “drilling won’t solve every problem.” What the hell is she talking about?
10:06 Obama wants to make government bigger. No comment on whether the government grew during the last eight years of Republican administration.
10:06 “Victory in Iraq is finally in sight.” No definition of “victory,” “Iraq” or “in sight.”
10:07 Obama favors Miranda rights. The crowd jeers because Miranda rights suck. I bet Obama is gay, too.
10:08 Shout-outs to Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Minnesota.
10:10 Slams Obama for making "dramatic speeches before devoted followers." Wait…nevermind.
10:12 Rips Obama for lack of experience. American presidency “not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery.” Wait…nevermind.
10:12 Another community organizer punch. I think that’s number four or five.
10:18 End of speech. I expected more USA chants. Nary a mention of Bush. Or Cheney, either, for that matter. All in all, Gov. Palin acquitted herself pretty well. By that I mean she did a decent job reading the teleprompter. Don’t worry, The Critical Elitist plans to take a closer look at the hottest governor from the coolest state in the coming weeks.
Next on CNN: John Rich, Gretchen Wilson and…wait for it…Cowboy Troy. This I gotta see. Shut up Alex Castellanos, Cowboy Troy’s onstage. John Rich is Rich of Big & Rich. I wonder where Big is. I wonder if Big is a Democrat. No clarification from Alex Castellanos. Worthless. Hey, I know Gretchen Wilson. She’s that fat chick I saw sing at the Houston Rodeo. From a luxury suite at the Houston Rodeo, I might add. Anyway, they’re performing a medley of the Pledge of Allegiance and The Star Spangled Banner. Now John Rich is singing a song he wrote called “Raisin’ McCain.” “We’re all just raisin’ McCain, everywhere across the USA, so you can get on the train or get outta the way, we’re all just raisin’ McCain.”
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Composite View
Sen. McCain's campaign manager Rick Davis: “This election is not about issues. This election is about a composite view of what people take away from these candidates.”
Totally. Issues are boring. Don't give me that boring crap while I'm trying to eat my boneless chicken wings and watch tv.
Totally. Issues are boring. Don't give me that boring crap while I'm trying to eat my boneless chicken wings and watch tv.
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Welcome to The Critical Elitist, the blog everybody's buzzing about. If you don't agree with the opinions expressed on this blog, you're wrong.
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